“Can I Have Your Number?” — How Social Media Has Removed the Stress Boys Once Faced in Toasting Girls
Introduction: The Evolution of “Can I Have Your Number?”
Not too long ago, a young man who admired a lady had to summon every ounce of courage to walk up to her, clear his throat, and ask, “Excuse me, can I have your number?” It was an era when romance began with real-life conversation — trembling hands, pounding hearts, and nervous smiles.
But today, that stress has vanished. With a simple “Hi” in the DMs, love stories begin. The courage once needed to approach a woman face-to-face has been replaced by the comfort of phone screens and internet connection. Social media has completely reshaped how young men express interest, flirt, and build relationships.
Let’s explore how this transformation happened, and what it means for modern love.
The Old Days: When “Toasting” Was a Skill
Before Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok became dating grounds, “toasting” a girl was an art form. It required confidence, charisma, and strategy. Boys had to master the right words, the right timing, and even the right dressing to impress.
Approaching a girl meant real-life effort — catching her attention at a party, a wedding, or in class. You had to make her laugh, win her trust, and find creative ways to ask for her number. Every step was filled with uncertainty.
Some boys would rehearse their lines for days. Others would send their friends to “help talk to her.” Some even wrote love letters — the handwritten kind, with perfume and poetic words.
That process built courage and communication skills. But it was also full of rejection. A girl could say “no” to your face, and you had to deal with it — instantly. That sting taught emotional maturity, but it also made many shy boys give up before even trying.
Then Came Social Media: The Digital Shortcut to Romance
The arrival of social media changed everything. Suddenly, the barriers between men and women became thinner. Facebook allowed you to “friend” a girl you’d never met. Instagram gave you a chance to admire her photos, like them, and slowly build a connection.
Instead of “Excuse me, can I have your number?”, today’s boys can slide into DMs with a simple emoji, a compliment, or even a meme. The fear of public rejection has been replaced with private messages that can be deleted, ignored, or left on “seen” without embarrassment.
In short, social media made “toasting” easier, safer, and faster.
Let’s break down exactly how.
1. No More Face-to-Face Rejection
In the past, rejection was loud and public. A girl could turn you down in front of her friends, and you’d carry that shame for days. But online, rejection is quiet. A “seen” message hurts, yes — but at least no one else saw it.
Boys can now message multiple girls, and if one doesn’t respond, they move on to another. That freedom has boosted confidence and reduced anxiety. It has also turned dating into more of a numbers game than a bold emotional act.
2. Social Media Helps Boys Study Girls Before Approaching
Back in the day, boys approached girls blindly. They had no clue about her personality, interests, or even if she was single. But social media has turned everyone’s life into an open book.
Now, a boy can check a girl’s posts, hobbies, favorite music, and even her relationship status before starting a conversation. This background knowledge helps him craft smarter, more personal messages — making the “toasting” smoother and more successful.
3. Virtual Confidence: Texting is Easier Than Talking
Many young men struggle to express themselves face-to-face. They fear stammering, sweating, or saying the wrong thing. But behind a phone screen, anyone can be bold.
Typing gives you time to think, edit, and choose the perfect words. Emojis help express feelings that are hard to say out loud. And if things go wrong, you can simply delete the chat or block the person.
This virtual layer gives many boys the confidence they lack in real life. It’s no wonder more relationships now begin online.
4. Creative Ways to Toast: Likes, Comments, and Stories
Social media offers endless ways to show interest without saying, “I like you.”
A few consistent likes, heart emojis on her selfies, or funny replies to her stories can all send romantic signals. This form of digital flirting allows boys to express attraction without taking a huge emotional risk.
Platforms like Instagram and TikTok have made subtle connection-building an everyday activity. A well-timed comment can open the door to a long conversation — something that used to take days of courage in person.
5. Distance Is No Longer a Barrier
In the past, a boy could only approach girls in his school, neighborhood, or church. But social media erased those boundaries. Now, love can start between two people living in different states — or even different countries.
This has given rise to global toasting. Nigerian boys can chat with girls in Ghana, the UK, or the US — and vice versa. Long-distance relationships that start from a single message are now common.
6. Memes, Reels, and Voice Notes — The New Romantic Tools
Today’s boys don’t always need flowery words. A well-chosen meme can make a girl laugh. A sweet voice note can sound more genuine than a hundred typed words. A duet on TikTok can express admiration better than a poem.
Social media has added creativity and humor to romance. It’s no longer just about what you say, but how you express it. A simple “Good morning, sunshine ☀️” in a voice note can warm a girl’s heart faster than a long speech.
7. Online Communities and Shared Interests
Social media has also helped boys connect with girls through shared passions — not just looks. Whether it’s a love for football, music, entrepreneurship, or travel, online communities bring people together.
A boy who comments on a girl’s post about books or business might find it easier to start a natural conversation. That makes toasting more meaningful, as it’s built on common interests rather than just attraction.
8. Reduced Pressure, But Also Reduced Effort
However, while social media has made things easier, it has also made some boys lazy in their approach. Since they can send messages to many girls at once, some no longer take time to craft sincere, personal conversations.
The result? Too many copy-and-paste DMs, too little emotional investment. Some girls now find it harder to trust online advances, as many feel generic or unserious.
So, while the stress is gone, the romantic art of toasting is fading too.
9. The Downside: False Impressions and Catfishing
Social media has also introduced new dangers. A profile picture doesn’t always tell the truth. Some boys use fake accounts to appear richer or more handsome. Some girls too use filters or borrowed photos.
This makes online “toasting” riskier — because you might be falling for an illusion. Many online relationships crash when people finally meet in person and realize the image didn’t match the reality.
10. Privacy, Screenshots, and Public Embarrassment
In the old days, rejection was private. But today, a boy’s DM can go viral if a girl decides to screenshot and post it. This new kind of embarrassment has replaced the old one.
So while the stress of face-to-face “no” is gone, the fear of online exposure remains. Every message must now be carefully written, because one mistake can become public content.
11. Social Media Relationships: Easy to Start, Hard to Maintain
Because online toasting is simple, relationships often start fast — but they also end fast. The same ease that helps people connect also makes it easy to move on when things get tough.
In the digital age, love can begin with a “like” and end with a “block.” Many young men now struggle to build deeper bonds because the online world encourages short attention spans and constant distractions.
12. The Balance: Blending the Old and the New
Even though social media has changed everything, real connection still matters. Technology can start the conversation, but personality, honesty, and respect keep it going.
A confident DM might open the door, but genuine effort builds the house. The best kind of “toasting” in today’s world combines both — modern tools and old-school sincerity.
Conclusion: The New “Can I Have Your Number?”
In the 21st century, “Can I have your number?” has evolved into “Can I follow you back?” or “Can I get your handle?” Social media has turned romance into a click, a follow, or a message — making the world of love faster and more accessible than ever before.
Yet, behind every screen, people still crave real affection, honesty, and emotional connection — the same things that made love meaningful decades ago.
So yes, social media has removed the stress boys once faced in toasting girls. But it has also challenged them to prove that love isn’t just digital — it’s still human.
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